But these demons are not a total curse. They are the ones who feed me my creativity. My music that I find so eerily beautiful. The fingernails-on-chalkboard -teeth-on-metal sound that I find so soothing. If it weren't for the monsters that invade my mind, I would certainly be locked up in an asylum, somewhere.

So welcome, my unwanted friends. Let us do some creative thinking to peel the blinders off the masses. The pigs lined up for slaughter. Let us make noise to crumble the foundation of our terrorist nation. Let us show the blind that freedom is a myth and happiness is nothing more than an unattainable dream.

+ruined

There's a fine line between love and murder
How I want to be your martyr
Blood washes over broken skin
To purify the filth within

Lustful urges what cannot be
To erase this part of me
Putrid tongue tells terrible tale
That cannot try if but to fail

(more to come soon)

+ruined

That said, this friend of mine is pissed. He feels betrayed. He demands an answer from either the head of the label or myself for not telling him about our plans. I simply told him it was because he is not part of my musical project. Because of that, it is none of his concern. He did not like that answer and most likely feels further betrayed by the answer.

I am at a point to where I really don't know if I care if he feels betrayed, because that was not my intention. If he wants to feel sorry for himself, that is his business, I suppose.

I don't know... what should I do about it. Should I say, "You're right. I should have told you."? Or am I correct in thinking that it really is none of his business?

People confuse me.

+ruined

Okay... what Imus said in a public forum was inappropriate and unacceptable.  He should be punished.

On the other hand, what he said wasn't as horrible or horrifying as the media itself is making it.  In fact, if the black community (I refuse to call them African Americans - you're either African or American... not both) had even the slightest sense of humor, this whole fiasco could have been avoided.  I mean really... he called you a "knappy haired hoe".  Do you cry if somebody calls you "tubby"?  Learn to roll with the punches!  Don't cry "racist!" if somebody looks at you cross-eyed.

If anybody is racist it's the black community who is so quick to call "racist" when somebody says something they don't agree with.  I mean, really... what do you want from us?  Shall we bow?  Would that make you feel better?  Forget it!  It won't happen.

I don't give a rat's ass if you're black, white, blue, or purple... we're all human beings.  Treat others like human beings and you'll be fine.  Stop expecting special treatment because your skin color is different then mine.  This whole battle of the races is ridiculous and must come to end.

We're in this together... so let's work together.  Deal?

+ruined

Since I started writing music under the name [null factor] in 1999, I have been using a microphone purchased from Wal-Mart for the sum of $12.00 US.  Recording with such a microphone has always been a very difficult task, as the quality, obviously, was nowhere near that of a good studio mic.

Thankfully, I was able to change that, over the past week.  I just received my new, studio-quality microphone, purchased with a tube preamp.  With the new mic and preamp added to my computerized studio, I have resumed the recording process. 

To hear a sample of what I've done with my new mic, download a sample of my latest track Human Analog.  It's a protest piece about the parasitic ways of today's corporations.

For those who like to read lyrics while listening to the music:

Corruption brick and mortar
Building blocks of the new world order
Empty words speak to the nation
Leaders lead by manipulation

Parasite incorporated
Opinions are over rated
Maggot pour-through policy
Riddled with hypocracy

Corporate rape

+ruined

I had to work late, this evening.  Usually, I am okay with that, because that means a little extra spending money.  That's always a nice thing.  Today was a little different, though.  Being my birthday, I just wanted to get home and have a relaxing evening.  Of course, that couldn't happen... the job that kept me after hours was more difficult than I had anticipated.  A lot more frustrating.

I called it quits around 8:00, this evening.  I arrived at my front door shortly before 8:30.  As soon as I walked through that door, my children gave me the complete red carpet treatment.  They had dinner ready for me, a cold beverage waiting.  Hand-made cards were given to me with large smiles showing how proud they were of their work.  They even created a short skit that they acted out, as my dinner entertainment.

Those things made me feel like I am a loved, important part of their lives.  And I wonder if I do enough to let them know that they are loved and an important part of my life.  In the 33 years that I've been alive, I don't think anybody made me feel more welcome.  I'm grateful.

+ruined

Exactly how do we expect our government to get their foreign policy in order when the branches of the government can't stop squabbling?  The congress is out of control.  The administrative branch is out of control.  Even our judicial branches are taking unbelievable leaps of legal logic.

Our government is sick.  It doesn't need to heal, it needs to be put of its misery.  And it seems the only way to do that is to do away with the republican versus democrat BS.  How about getting people in office who care about maintaining the basics that the United States was built on, rather than leaders that believe that their political pull is the only thing that matters?

I am so tired of being led by juveniles.

+ruined